Family Violence Resources

In this section:

What is Family Violence?

Family violence is best understood as a pattern of behavior aimed at controlling another person through fear, causing them to feel unsafe. This kind of violence can occur in any relationship, not just between intimate partners.

While family violence is most commonly perpetrated by men against their current or former partners, it can also occur:

In parent/carer-child relationships
Between siblings and other relatives, including extended family members and in-laws
In family-like relationships (e.g., between housemates)
In relationships where one person cares for another and abuses the person in their care
Within kinship networks
In faith-diverse and LGBTQIA+ communities, it may occur within someone's family of choice, which differs from their biological family.

It is important to note that family violence is not limited to physical harm—it can take many forms.

Forms of Family Violence

Family violence can take many forms, including:

Emotional or psychological abuse: This can include name-calling, constant criticism, or gaslighting (making someone question their memory or perception of events).
Physical abuse: Examples include hitting, choking or strangling, kicking, slapping, and forcing someone to take or not take medication. It can also involve using weapons or damaging property to scare or control someone.
Sexual abuse: This includes forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts against their will or using sexual intimidation and humiliation.
Financial abuse: Examples include controlling all the money, not allowing someone to work, or taking someone’s money and refusing to give it back. This can make the victim-survivor dependent on the person using violence and unable to leave the relationship.
Social abuse: This involves isolating the person by stopping them from seeing friends or family, monitoring their movements, or preventing them from socialising.
Spiritual, religious, and/or cultural abuse: This may include not letting someone practice their religion or culture, preventing them from speaking or teaching their children their language, or mocking traditional cultural practices.
Stalking or monitoring: This can happen in person or through technology. In person, it can include physically following someone, waiting outside their home, workplace, or frequently visited locations, or getting others to follow and report on the person's movements. Through technology, it can include tracking someone’s location using GPS devices, checking their phone or messages without permission, monitoring their social media or online activity, or installing spyware on their devices.
Verbal abuse: Examples include shouting, threatening, making degrading comments, or using hurtful language to intimidate or belittle someone.
Systems abuse: This occurs when someone uses rules, services, and systems (like courts or child protection) to harm or control another person. Examples include taking someone to court multiple times or prolonging legal proceedings to cause emotional and financial stress. It can also include threatening to cancel someone’s visa.

Users of violence often employ one or more of these forms of abuse as part of a pattern of coercive control. Coercive control refers to a pattern of abusive behavior designed to dominate and control someone. This can involve both physical and non-physical behaviors that create fear and restrict a person's ability to make decisions or live freely. The effects can be emotional, psychological, social, and financial, often building up over time and making it difficult to seek support.

Who Experiences Family Violence?

Anyone can experience family violence, but it is most commonly committed by men against women. Data from Our Watch, Australia's leading body for preventing violence against women, shows that in 95% of cases, the perpetrator is a man. While family violence is most commonly perpetrated by men against women, it is important to recognise that anyone, regardless of gender or sexual identity, can use or experience family violence.

Due to social and structural inequalities, some groups are at higher risk of experiencing family violence and face additional barriers to accessing support.

Examples include:

Young women
Children
Older people
People with disabilities
Culturally diverse individuals
LGBTIQA+ people
People in rural areas
People with mental health or substance use issues
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples

This video explains how structural inequality increases the risk of family violence for some groups.

What Causes Family Violence?

Family violence is a complex issue with no single cause. Various factors contribute to increased rates of family violence in the community.

Research shows that gender inequality, or the unequal distribution of power, resources, and opportunities based on gender identity, is the main driver of family violence. In a society structured to value women less than men, men may feel entitled to power and control over women, which is a key dynamic of family violence.

Research identifies the following four manifestations of gender inequality that consistently predict or "drive" violence against women:

Condoning of violence against women: Violence is more likely when it is excused, justified, or trivialised, such as dismissing harm with phrases like “boys will be boys” or blaming victim-survivors for their behavior or appearance.
Men’s control of decision-making and limits to women’s independence: When men dominate decision-making in relationships or society, or when women have less independence and power, it reinforces inequality and increases the risk of violence.
Rigid gender stereotypes and dominant masculinity: Stereotypes about how men and women should behave—such as men being naturally dominant or women being passive—perpetuate unequal power dynamics between men and women.
Male peer cultures of aggression and control: Male peer groups that encourage aggression, dominance, or boasting about sexual behavior are linked to higher rates of violence against women.

It is important to distinguish between factors that drive family violence and those that reinforce it. Reinforcing factors do not drive violence on their own but can contribute to or exacerbate violence against women. These include:

Condoning of violence in general: Accepting or excusing violence can normalise it, making it more likely to occur.
Experience of, and exposure to, violence: Being exposed to or experiencing violence, particularly during childhood, may increase the likelihood of perpetuating or experiencing violence later in life.
Factors that weaken prosocial behavior: Stress, environmental factors, crises, male-dominated environments, or heavy alcohol use can reduce empathy, respect, and concern for women, increasing the risk of violence.
Backlash and resistance to prevention and gender equality: Efforts to block change, maintain traditional gender roles, or reinforce male privilege create an environment where violence against women is more likely.

You can learn more about the difference between drivers of violence and reinforcing factors here.

MARAM and Neighbourhood Houses

Not all victim-survivors seek help from specialist family violence services or the police. In fact, the Personal Safety Survey shows that only 20% of victim-survivors report their experiences to the police. There are many reasons why someone may choose not to involve the police.

Most victim-survivors first access support through everyday services they use for reasons unrelated to family violence. This could include childcare, a GP, schools, workplaces, sports clubs, social networks, or neighbourhood houses. These familiar settings often feel safer for victim-survivors to open up about their experiences.

Regardless of where a victim-survivor seeks support, they should be met with respectful, sensitive, and safe engagement. To ensure all services respond consistently, Victoria uses the Multi-Agency Risk Assessment and Management (MARAM) framework.

What is MARAM?

MARAM is a framework designed to identify, assess, and manage family violence risk. It has been included in the Family Violence Protection Act 2008 and provides a shared understanding, language, and practices for addressing family violence across services.

Some services are legally required to follow MARAM. Neighbourhood houses are not legally required to use it but are encouraged to do so voluntarily. This supports both the safety of victim-survivors and the well-being of workers.

MARAM recognises that different services have different roles in addressing family violence. Specialist family violence workers are expected to provide comprehensive support since family violence is their main area of work. Universal services, like neighbourhood houses, whose main focus isn’t family violence but may intersect with it, have simpler responsibilities.

These include:

Identifying family violence: Recognising signs that someone may be experiencing abuse.
Referring to specialists: Connecting people to family violence services for further support.
Responding to emergencies: Acting if someone is in immediate danger of being seriously injured or killed, such as calling 000.

To better identify family violence and assess if there is any immediate danger, it’s important to understand:

Signs and indicators that someone may be experiencing family violence.
Evidence-based risk factors.

Learning about these is best practice and helps ensure you are alert to risks when working with your community.

Supporting Victim-Survivors of Family Violence: Key Approaches

When someone is experiencing family violence, how you support them can greatly affect their safety and well-being. You might feel unsure about what to say or do, but the most important thing is to believe them and listen without judgment. The following approaches can help you provide safe and effective support.

Intersectionality

Intersectionality is about understanding how different aspects of a person’s identity—like race, gender, or disability—affect their experiences. In family violence, people who use violence often target parts of the victim-survivor's identity, such as their disability or immigration status, to control or harm them.

To learn more about intersectionality, check out these videos:

Trauma-informed practice

Trauma-informed practice recognises that victim-survivors of family violence often experience complex trauma, which can affect how they think, feel, and respond. This approach helps ensure your support is sensitive to trauma and avoids causing further harm.

Key principles of trauma-informed practice include:

Safety: Create a safe and supportive environment.
Trust and Transparency: Be open and clear about options and decisions.
Voice and Choice: Respect the victim-survivor’s choices and support them to make their own decisions.

Being trauma-informed doesn’t mean treating trauma—that’s for experts. Instead, it means being mindful of its effects.

Learn more about trauma-informed practice with [this video] and the resources available on the Blue Knot Foundation’s website.

Person-centred approach

A person-centred approach focuses on the person as an individual, not a ‘problem.’ It’s about empowering them to take the lead in their own journey and tailoring support to their unique needs.

Key aspects of a person-centred approach include:

Supporting the person to make decisions about their life.
Considering their life experience, culture, age, language, identity, and beliefs.
Providing flexible support that meets their specific needs.
Focusing on their strengths and including their support networks and resources.

This fact sheet has information about person-centred practice.

Strengths-based approach

A strengths-based approach focuses on what people can do rather than their challenges. It’s about helping victim-survivors identify and use their own strengths to achieve their goals, rather than trying to ‘fix’ problems for them.

This approach emphasises:

Highlighting strengths instead of deficits.
Encouraging self-determination and resilience.
Supporting people to take charge of their lives and aspirations.

This video has information about strengths-based practice.

Effective Engagement with Victim-Survivors

A recent NHVic survey found that most neighbourhood houses engage with victim-survivors of family violence daily or weekly. Every interaction is an opportunity to provide support. Using respect, sensitivity, and safety as guiding principles can make these interactions more effective, helping victim-survivors access the support they need.

Some key elements of effective engagement include:

Building rapport and trust

Building rapport and trust creates a foundation for effective support. Here are some practical tips:

Believe them: This is one of the most powerful ways to show support.
Show concern: Let them know you’re worried about their safety and well-being.
Respect their boundaries: Allow them to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable.
Listen without judgment: Avoid giving advice or jumping to solutions. Let them tell their story in their own time.
Be transparent: Clearly explain what you can and cannot do to support them.
Check your biases: Be mindful of any assumptions or stereotypes that could harm your response.
Understand barriers to disclosure: Recognise that people may hesitate to share their experiences for reasons such as:
- Not being ready or recognising their experience as family violence.
- Fear of not being believed or judged.
- Concerns about visa status, cultural expectations, or family consequences.
- Worry about harm to themselves, their children, or the person using violence.

Always follow their lead. Avoid pushing them to make decisions, leave the abuser, or take actions they’re not ready for. They know their situation best and how to keep themselves and their children safe.

Creating a safe space for conversation

Providing a safe and comfortable environment is important. Key considerations include:

Accessibility: Ensure the space is easy to reach, with features like wheelchair access, convenient hours, and nearby transport or parking.
Privacy: Choose a private location where conversations cannot be overheard or interrupted.
Time: Make sure you have enough time for the conversation. Consider the possibility of the victim-survivor choosing to disclose their experience.
Safety: Never discuss family violence when the person using violence is present—it could increase the risk.
Communication needs: Ask if they have any communitcation requirements. For example, they might benefit from having an interpreter.
Children: If possible, arrange for children to be occupied elsewhere during the conversation.
Welcoming environment: Create a non-judgmental, respectful space that acknowledges their identity. Avoid making assumptions about someone’s background, gender, or experiences based on appearance or other characteristics.

By following these principles, you can help victim-survivors feel heard, respected, and supported. Every step you take to create trust and safety matters.

Asking about Family Violence

When asking someone about family violence, starting with a leading question can be helpful. A leading question doesn’t directly ask about family violence but creates an opportunity for the person to share more information or disclose their experience.

For example, you could mention something you’ve noticed and then ask if they’d like to talk. You might say:
“I noticed you haven’t been coming to as many classes lately. Is there something going on that you’d like to talk about?”

Recognising how family violence might be described

Sometimes victim-survivors don’t recognise their experiences as family violence, especially if there hasn’t been physical violence. Instead, they might use language like:

“I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells.”
“Everything I do is wrong.”
Describing their partner as controlling or prone to anger.
Saying they feel trapped, isolated, or frequently put down.

Responding to alarming information

If the person shares something that raises concerns, let them know you’re worried. For example, you could say:
“What you’ve shared about your partner’s (or family member’s) behavior worries me. Would it be okay if I ask you a few more questions?”

With their consent, you can ask: “Has your partner or anyone in your family ever done something that made you feel unsafe or afraid?”. This question comes from the MARAM Adult Screening Tool and is designed to identify patterns of behavior aimed at controlling someone through fear.

If the person says no, respect their response. Let them know they can come back anytime if they want to talk. For example: “That’s okay. If you ever feel like talking, I’m here to listen.”

If they choose to disclose their experiences with family violence, there are things you can do to support the disclosure and encourage the person to access support. You can read more here.

Responding to Disclosure

When someone chooses to disclose their experiences with family violence, there are things you can do to support the disclosure. Some practical things include:

Let them know you believe them. This shows trust and validation.
Show you care. Be attentive and interested in what they have to say.
Reassure them. Let them know they have done the right thing to disclose the abuse.
Be clear about your role. If assessing or managing risk isn’t part of your role, explain that it requires a specialist family violence worker.
Acknowledge their courage. Let them know you understand how hard it is to share this.
Respect their pace. Encourage them to share as much or as little as they’re comfortable with.
Reassure them it’s not their fault. Emphasise that they are not to blame for the violence.
Validate their feelings and strengths. For example, you might say, “It sounds like what you’re going through is really frightening and difficult. I’m concerned about how your partner is treating you. Coming here today and sharing this with me shows a lot of strength and courage.”

It’s also important to know what not to do:

Don’t share your own experiences. Keep the focus on them.
Don’t ask too many probing questions. Avoid pressuring them for details as this can be re-traumatising.
Don’t judge or criticize their choices. Support their decisions without judgment.
Don’t suggest they could have done anything to prevent the violence. Avoid blame in any form.
Don’t promise confidentiality if you can’t keep it (e.g., if you are a mandated reporter).
Don’t try to solve their problems or tell them what to do. They are the experts.

By following these practice considerations, you can provide meaningful support and encourage them to seek further help if they’re ready.

Assessing Risk

Family violence always involves risks—emotional, social, financial, and more. Unless it’s part of your job role, your responsibility is limited to assessing and responding to any immediate risk of serious injury or death to the victim-survivor or others. All other risks should be assessed and managed by a specialist family violence worker.

Assessing immediate risk

When evaluating if there’s a risk of serious harm or death, focus on three key factors:

Victim-survivor’s self-assessment - A victim-survivor’s sense of their own risk is often the most reliable indicator, as they understand the person using violence. You can explore their assessment by asking: “Do you feel safe leaving here today?” or “On a scale of 1 to 5, how afraid are you that your partner might hurt you when you get home today?"
Evidence-based risk factors - Research shows certain risk factors increase the likelihood of serious harm or death. Some, known as serious risk factors, are more closely linked to fatal outcomes and have been identified through death reviews and coronial inquests. Be attentive to these factors when listening to the victim-survivor.
Professional judgment and intersectionality - Combine your professional judgment with the victim-survivor’s self-assessment and evidence-based risk factors. Consider unique circumstances, such as:
- Community context: Distance to emergency services or other local factors that might affect safety.
- Intersectionality: Consider how aspects of the victim-survivor’s identity might affect their ability to seek help in case of emergency. For instance, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people might be hesitant to call police due to experiences of institutional racism, which could heighten the risk since police are often the only ones that can help in emergencies.

Tool to support risk assessment

MARAM Adult screening tool can help identify immediate risks of serious harm or death. The questions are based on the evidence based risk factors and asks about the victim-survivor's assessment of their safety. Your response will depend on whether an immediate risk is identified.

Responding to Risk

Your response to risk will depend on whether there is an immediate danger of serious harm or death to the victim-survivor or others

If there is no immediate risk

When the risk is not urgent, you can support the victim-survivor by:

Providing information about support services
Making a referral
Making a basic safety plan

If there no immediate risk

If there is immediate risk of them or anyone else being seriously injured or killed, you might need to provide an immediate response. You can facilitate an immediate response by

Engaging a specialist family vioelnce service. For example, The Orange Door.
You should also consider calling 000

Always seek the victim-survivor’s consent before involving services, including the police. If there’s an immediate risk of serious harm or death and they don't want police involvement but have no other emergency safety options, you may need to call 000 without their consent. However, always prioritise seeking consent, involving them in decisions, and exploring other safety options if that’s what they prefer.

Making Referrals

A referral connects victim-survivors with services that can help with needs outside of your organisation, like legal advice or financial counseling. Here are some thing to consider when making a referral:

Discuss needs: Talk with the victim-survivor about their needs, concerns, and any challenges in connecting with services.
Review current supports: Find out if they are already working with any services and consider re-connecting with these or finding new options.
Give options: Offer several services and let the victim-survivor choose the one that feels right for them.
Get consent: Make sure to get permission to share their information as required.
Connect with the receiving service: Ensure the service is suitable, check for wait times, and provide the service with the information you have gathered to avoid the victim-survivor needing to repeat their story.
Understand service criteria: Know the intake and eligibility criteria of referral services.
Set expectations: Let the victim-survivor know what to expect from the referral. If you are unsure, you can ask the service provider to explain what they can and cannot support with over the phone.
Follow up: After the referral, check in with the victim-survivor to ensure it met their needs.

Remember, you cannot know everything about everything. While it is helpful to have some baseline knowledge about available support services, there are also search engines to support you with finding services that can help.

These websites can help you find services:

Learning Opportunities

Family Violence Foundations (free e-learn), provided by Safe and Equal
DV Alert (various training opportunities, both online and in-person)
Various training on trauma-informed practice, provided by Blue Knot Foundation
MARAM Identification and Screening, provided by Safe and Equal
eSafety Commissioner - training on various topics, including online safety and technology-facilitated abuse
Adults Using Family Violence, delivered by No to Violence

Additional Resources

Information about family violence

Find a service

MARAM

Podcasts, books, videos

Family violence and visas

Safety planning

Engagement tools and visuals